least one aspect of their physical appearance’ *
As a nation we have grown increasingly more image conscious and obsessed about changing the way we look. Switch on the TV and lose yourself in the emotion of the makeover shows, open a glossy magazine for the ‘have they or haven’t they’ plastic surgery intrigue and more commonly, who has lost or gained the most weight this week!
I am not saying this is a completely bad thing. Striving to be the best you can be, implementing healthy eating and exercise routines offers huge benefits to our wellbeing and self-esteem.
Yet as illustrated above, statistics show a growing trend of dissatisfaction with our body image. However, the feeling of satisfaction with our body is more than just a physical reality.
Our personal crusade to gain control over our attractiveness may one day meet the harsh realisation that we may infact never reach our desired physical state.
Not only can we waste precious time and energy but often what we want may not be what we really need.
A client recently told me she has been on a diet for 10 years and now refuses to attempt another one. What would have been different if she started her first diet with an acknowledgement of her current attractiveness and decided to work from there? To build on her strengths and view herself as already attractive?
Often we can mistakenly think a key to our ultimate happiness or success lies in a pair of size 8 jeans or a cosmetically straightened nose.
Yet, if we are utterly convinced that we are unattractive, and have spent many years telling ourselves, it is unlikely we will transform how we feel about our appearance after a nip and tuck!
The answer to how attractive you think you are is exactly that.
You are only as attractive as you think you are.
A lifetime’s belief in one’s own essential unattractiveness cannot be unseated unless it is tacked at the root; how we feel and think about ourselves.
Think of how often you ponder over your ‘negative’ feature, how long have you believed this? Who first told you it was true? What was their agenda? What is it costing you to keep this belief alive? Are you prepared to carry this into your future?
The good news is that if you really want to, you can change the way you feel about your looks forever. Attractiveness is a state of mind.
If you are serious about wanting to see the ‘beauty within’ and thus allowing the world to also see your beauty then I would ask you to start with just one thing:
Have a reality check:
Close the bathroom door and take a long look at yourself in the mirror, identify once and for all your body image gremlins. Now, take a deep breath and find 3 things you like about your body.
Tomorrow, remind yourself of those three things and find another two. And so on.
Start to acknowledge how attractive you are right here and now. If a negative thought pops in to your mind, thank it for offering assistance but from now on you have chosen to concentrate and focus solely on your beauty.
Sound a little warm and fuzzy? Maybe, but what do you have to lose?