*OIL OF JOY*
‘Over and above all else, we breathe. It is this simple puff of wind,
spirit, pneuma, life-force, breath; it is this simple motion in our very
bodies that sustains us. It creates bubbles children like to play with.
‘And what is it to love if not to greet each others breath, acknowledge
their common origin? Our breaths know each other; even the wind they
know better than our bodies.
‘Our breaths leave our bodies, we die. There’s more in it than inhale,
exhale. It’s a blueprint. It contains laws, holds the days and duration
of our lives.
‘Breath. It is in animals too. Leaves give it up. Every one of these
billions of cells knows its source. It leaves and we die.
‘Breath gives fire to fire, yet remains separate from it. Breath is
Urd turns to turn off the kettle whistling. He kept a kettle still.
He had drifted into recording these urges, bursting now in his head. He
thought of color; colors of his many thoughts, how they fire,
theirsudden appearances, their warmth, their ageless beauty. Silence.
The morning’s sun had been as strong as the night’s moon. Its brilliance
was golden, more brilliant still on account of Christobal’s greenery. He
had returned to his apartment only to find himself, that part of him,
caught up in his night’s text.
It was a violent loving, drawing him into its syntax, its
conflagrations, its whispers, its non-utterances. There were moments of
nothingness when he waited for his being maybe, to throw a line of
phonemes, a thought that once meant, an image, a city on water, a tree
planted and blooming on the moon, a sun in flare or just a recall of
Rosetta cruising into the hallways of Christobal college.
‘Man is fearful of not wanting. Not to have a desire is to be empty and
man fears feeling empty. Enter the empty.
‘Empty the nothing. Be empty that you may be filled. Those days of empty
can be dry, hostile, solitary, even full of mystery.
‘But it is precisely those days of empty that you need, that your soul
traverses, that your soul sojourns through. Now you know. Stand and bind
yourself. Listen to the rhythm between your heartbeats.