Alright, before I get into the advice, let me just say: getting girls online is ——- hard … (that’s what she said). Unless you’re very good looking or have really sick photos of you doing bad— —- like jet skiing or jumping out of a plane or being James Bond, it’s going to be more difficult than picking up girls in-person. It didn’t used to be this hard (that’s what she said again … —- it) … but now so many guys are into online dating and every girl has thousands of guys to choose from, so it’s on YOU to stand out. Let’s hop straight into it. #1: Don’t have a —- — profile First things first, you need a ——.

Your main picture should be something cool that separates you from everyone else. If you’re in good shape, then post a shirtless pic of yourself but, BUT, make sure it’s not a ——- picture of you flexing so hard in the mirror that it looks like you’re about to take a —-, because having a picture of you taking a —- usually isn’t the best first impression. It needs to be subtle, you need to show off without looking like you’re showing off, for example a picture of you having fun with your friends at the beach, where your six pack just happens to be showing. I’ve seen some research indicating that girls online tend to like guys profiles more when they have shirtless pictures and pictures with animals. I know it sounds cliche but hey, I’m no ——- scientist. So pretty much post something like this Also include pictures of you doing really interesting stuff so the girls looking at your profile know you’re an interesting guy BEFORE talking to you. This is extra important if you’re not good looking or just average.

You have pictures of you doing cool —-, because you do cool —-. If your profile consists of you taking selfies in your bathroom, that’s not cool stuff at all. Then your profile itself should be kind of funny and clever, but not too tryhard. Short but sweet. Don’t list all the —- you enjoy or anything like that because nobody really cares [slight laugh] and it just looks tryhard. Also, one of my friends who pulls a lot of girls on Tinder, says you should put your height in your profile, if you’re 6 foot or taller. If you’re 5’10 or 5’11 put 6′ as well. If you’re shorter, don’t put anything. If you don’t use Tinder you probably think this sounds bad, [laugh] which it does, but it’s just what people do.

If you have pictures of you base jumping, and your profile says 6’3, you’re gonna get some good matches. So that was a lot of info. Here’s a simple checklist: 1 or 2 group pics with your friends. Couple of you doing cool stuff. At least one of just you or you and a girl. And you should be smiling in at least a couple of them. Short profile, don’t try too hard. That’s it. #2: Don’t sound like a — when you message her. This means not saying “hey what’s up” or “hey beautiful” or anything like that. Nobody wants to reply to that 6th grader —-. “Hey what’s up. N.M., you. N.M. Just watching TV. Smiley face. Haha. L.O.L.” —- that —-. You need to start the conversation with something funny and interesting, like sending a funny gif, or by saying something funny or sarcastic about their bio or a picture they have. My rule of thumb for sending messages and texting in general is, if the text you’re sending wouldn’t work on you if you were a girl, then don’t ——- send it.

If you were an extremely attractive girl, and an average looking guy messaged you “hey what’s up” and you had 500 other messages sitting in your inbox, would you reply? Probably not. So if you wouldn’t repy to yourself, why the —- would you expect her to? #3: Swipe on everyone. Now here’s another trick: Whenever you go on Tinder, just keep swiping right, until you hit your limit. Don’t waste time clicking through the profiles to see if the girl is hot because chances are you won’t match with her anyway since guys have a really low match rate on Tinder. When and IF you match with a girl, then that is the appropriate time to look through her profile and either message her or unmatch her. If you want to win on Tinder, you have to play the numbers game and swipe right on EVERY girl until you run out of likes for the day. So this way, you’ll match with more girls at a faster rate and only look at profiles of girls who already matched with you and are interested.

Also, a tip to avoid fake profiles is, if they only have three pictures, are SUPER hot, and the quality of the pictures is low like they’re really small pictures that have been resized or some —- like that, they are likely fake so don’t waste your time. Every time I’ve matched with a profile that matches this description, I get an automated spam message and blue —-. So don’t waste your time. Let’s just be serious, I mean, if a girl looks like she came straight out of a Victorias Secret catalog, and you know you’re like a 5/10, and you matched with her anyway … be serious. That’s a ——- spambot. Girls on tinder tend to be shallower than girls in real life, so if you’re a 5/10, you can expect to meet girls going up to like 7’s, with a rare 8 occasionally if you’re on there a ton. You’re not gonna match with a 10. Just use common sense. Also when you’re swiping, if you happen to see a REALLY hot girl, then use your “super likes” on them so they know you’re interested.

You might be thinking, “OH but Zeus, if she sees you super liked her, she already knows you’re super into her, and she’ll not like that.” Well when you’re on Tinder you want girls to spend time on your profile and click through it to see all of your —— pictures. The super like catches her eye and makes her more likely to look through your profile. Otherwise she’ll probably just swipe left on you anyways so you might as well use all of your super likes. I’ve asked a lot of girls I know about this and they don’t see it as a bad thing, all it does it make your profile more eye-catching, and they NEVER really stop and think “wait, this guy used a super like, he must be desperate.” So don’t worry about it. BONUS TIP: Don’t mess around. With most of the girls I’ve actually met off Tinder, I’ve gotten their numbers within like 5 messages or so. Get it as soon as possible. Then text her like you do when you usually get a girl’s number, find the necessary info, make sure she’s cool, and set up some shit to hangout.

Same as always. Tinder is basically a tool for getting numbers, not for actually trying to get the girl to fall in love with you before you ever meet. I mean if a girl is obviously interested and she’s just cool as —- then you can text a lot more, but just use your common sense. Once you get the it’s the same as if you had gotten it any other way. So in conclusion, one, have a BADASS profile with good pics of yourself and throw a funny clever sentence or two into your bio. Two, open with something funny. Three, just keep swiping right, and don’t forget to use all of those super likes.

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